The New Year

I will be abroad in the following weeks, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a Marvelous New Year!

Any New Year's resolutions?

With Love,
Eda

He

He promised me sunshine, but greeted me with rain.
He begged me to stay, but he was the first one to go away.

His words first warmed me, now they freeze me.
He said he loved me but now he hates me.

Reading 3

I was running down the stairs in the subway station. A very old tiny little lady caught my attention. Within her little body and with her little steps, she was trying to catch the train. I slowed down my steps to accompany her. I was scared to think what would happen to her, if she didn't slow down. I could hear her breathing. What if she just had a heart attack or would it really worth to risk your life at her age? I wasn't so sure.I wanted to make sure that she caught the train safe and sound. I didn't enter the train before she did. My thoughtful steps followed her in silence. She finally sat next to a group of teenagers, secured her shopping bags and started looking at me. I wholeheartedly wanted to look her in the eye. I tried. But when I looked at her, I saw one of her eyes were half-closed and the other was hidden after her blurry glasses.

The idea of getting old seems so far away most of the times, but in the moments such these, I feel I am included in a process I would not like to make a part of.

Triangular Irony of Life

She's counting down her last days in this world. Despite the passing years, she fears darkness like a child. She's reluctant to leave all these behind, but her daughter gives her a reason to catch the light, to be alive.

Another woman, sitting right across her, is also counting down days to take her daughter to the light, to the life. Despite the difficulties on her way, she's willing to give it a go. Everything failed, but her daughter will give her a reason to continue.

One defeated, the other winner and me the observer. That's the triangular irony of life.

Sorrow

I didn't forget, nor did I remember, I am living with it every second I breathe.
It wasn't an occurrence neither a memory, it exists here with me.

It didn't kill me neither did it save. But it hurts me every, every day.

He's now gone, neither has he stayed. He turned out to be a shadow, making my life a sorrow.

I don't know

Perhaps it will save me from this emotional prison, perhaps it will liberate me forever, perhaps my mind will blossom new ideas without his shadow in my past or it will be the end of my inspiration, a beginning of infertile ideas, a dark ending for all. I don't know. I just don't know...

Pousada de Juventude, Lisbon 2001

He was a young blond Portuguese man with smiling eyes. As I was leaving the keys of my room into his hands at the reception, he spoke to me with his eyes and with no words. I answered him in the same way: with a sincere smile from heart.
When I left the hostel, my mind was left to this young blond man, but not my heart. It was given to a brunette, waiting for me at the door.

365 days, 52 weeks ago

While he was kissing me, my eyes were fixed at the alarm clock on the bedside table. My body was against his, but my thoughts were in the past.365 days, 52 weeks ago started an emptiness in my life. 365 days, 52 weeks ago at this particular hour, 12.00 p.m, my father passed away. Despite the passed months, I still find it difficult to believe. It feels like yesterday. His last breathe, the last tears falling down on his cheeks,his lost battle was the sum of my last meeting with my father.

His tired but big body was still. His hands turned colder and colder. His heart wasn't beating anymore. I had never seen anything so real in my life. It was so real that I doubted my own existence.

365 days, 52 weeks ago started an emptiness inside and it will always be there.

Love

I was standing still in rain, feeling the rain drops falling on my closed eyes. Even if I didn't see, I felt the beauty of them.

I had you in my deepest thoughts. I loved you with all my heart. Even if I didn't see you, I knew that I loved you.

I am idle in the sun, feeling the sun rays warming me up. Even if I wouldn't like to, I run, run away from you.

I have you in my thoughts, inspiring me every day. Even if I still have unnamed feelings for you, I know that I am not in love with you.

Fortgotten Birthday

Resentfully, in a complaining voice he protested:

- I don't believe you forgot my birthday!

She smiled bitterly. It was true she had forgotten, but didn't take so long to reply his words:

- I don't believe you kept me away from your life for 6 long years!

He protested a day, she sank in silence during 2191 days. Human beings are like that. They can find all the right in the world to make you sad, to get you out of their lives, but you're always expected to be there for them, not forgetting their birthdays and so on.

In those long 6 years, I only remember one thing: The funeral of my father, not capricious behavior of a lover.

What was...

First they were around my head,
Now they are inside my head. And I don't know what to do with them.
What was out of me is now inside me.
What was close is now far away.
What was me now is someone else.

Nothing But Her Story

In her hesitant steps she breathed the newly awoken city. Nothing mattered to her. The city was enchanting, the morning was beautiful and she felt she was alive deep inside. This was nothing but her story and she was passionate about it.

He and His Dreams

He never knew how to be happy with what he had.

When he, as a young boy, suffered from poverty in a foreign country as a son of an immigrant, he longed for money. For money would give him everything he wanted: A better life.
Years later, as a businessman, at the top of his career, he’s got what he longed for: Money. Great number of banknotes he received at the end of each month didn’t make much difference. He asked for more. If not money, more conditions to have a better and better life. Sadly, he’s never realized how happy he could be with the life he had. He forgot what he has now is what he longed for.

If you can’t be happy with what you have, how will you ever be happy with what you will have?

Miss C.

Her name is Miss C, Miss Melancholy.
Don't try to hide your pain from me.
Your eyes tell me all your story.
That's why you hide your eyes from me in your moments of vulnerability.

Let these words to ease your pain, let the sun shine over you again.