Monday, January 29, 2007

More of You

I would like to see more of you, to hear you calling my name, to feel you holding my hand.

I would like to know more of you as I didn’t get enough of you. Time was a bird, it flew and you were already gone.

Friday, January 26, 2007

A Woman Turns 30 Today

Today she turns 30. Will her life be the same as in her 20s?

Only now she started to exist in her world. The way she treated people around her became distanced. Every thing she knew before was unknown., every song she sang by heart was unheard. Day by day, she became a stranger.

And one day, the image appeared on the mirror wasn't her, but a different woman. She put on her coat and got lost on the streets.

Nobody remembered her.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

I wonder

While I am writing about my surroundings and these people, I'm sure someone else is also writing about me. Who, When, Where and How, I don't know, but I'd like to know.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

He is Hungry! No Further Reading Required.

“I am hungry!” he cried in the metro station. “I’m retired, but the state refuses to pay me what I had paid for 50 years!” Silence covered the station. In his weary look, he was protesting in his own way... What else could he do? Too many things seemed to revolt him and he couldn’t take it any more. He told everyone his story, something that may happen to any of us one day. But, nobody listened. A young girl in front me preferred to change the song she was listening to in her ipod. The ladies next to me sank in their newspapers. Young man leaning against the wall escaped his eyes. People were indifferent. And I, I wanted to look at his eyes and tell him some comforting words, but I couldn’t. I just didn’t know what would comfort him. I felt ashamed to see a sixty-year-old man suffering helplessly in this way at a subway station. I was deeply ashamed, although I wasn’t a part of this silent society.

Monday, January 22, 2007

He Inside Me

Sometimes, unexpectedly and unnecessarily, I show all my bravery.
A short while later, I understand it wasn't me, but it was you inside me made me act in this way.

At other times, unintentionally and unwillingly, I hurt people's feelings. And I feel sad.
A short while later, I understand it wasn't me, but it was you inside me made me hurt them in this way.

Sometimes, stupidly, I tell the words I shouldn't have. And I suffer.
A short while later, I understand it wasn't me, but it was you inside me made me utter all those words.

Most of the times, I feel regretful for my feelings for you,not counting all the bad things you have done.
A short while later, I understand it wasn't me, but it was you inside me made me feel in this silly way.

And now, although I have the entire world to write about, I choose you.
And this time, like any other time, I know it wasn't me, but it was you inside me made me drop all these lines...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Weather Forecast

The planet's predominant weather forecast was sunshine for all day.
Mine had been stormy at all the times.
And I kept wondering why?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Words in South

In South words have no meaning and the words may have all the meaning. You can talk to someone for hours and at the end of the conversation you realize that you haven't spoken anything. At other times you say one word and without any further explanation, all is told.

In South, the moment people open their mouths, the words flow like a river. They flow, flow and flow. I sometimes find myself floating in their river of the words. My imagination goes with this flow and takes me somewhere different, somewhere far from the topic. When I return to the words, I see they are still there continuing: flowing. I catch one word and carry on the conversation as if nothing happened.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

My Planet's Crash

My planet crashed against a stranger, against him to be particular. I stood in the middle of the road shaken, wretched and wordless. When I took my eyes off of the ground, I saw him in front me looking at me sweetly. No words exchanged. Those 3 seconds felt like years. I wanted to say something, but no word came out me. Something drew me away from him. I started walking unwillingly. As I walked away, I had a great urge to look back. I couldn't. I had to struggle to be able to. It was almost impossible, but I did. And saw he was no longer there.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

9 Years Before, 9 Years Later-Part I

I met him on a flight to Oslo 9 years ago. In the country of darkness, he was the only child of the sunshine. He had radiantly blond hair and icy blue eyes in contrast to his warm heart. He was generous enough to let me get into his gloomy world. The deeper I got in, the more amazed I became. It wasn't the cold weather, but the story of his life froze me upto my bones. The snowy weather's sightseeing ended up in a popular café of Oslo. Hours flew. The man at the café offered us free coffee. He said: "Sunshines and smiling eyes had long passed here." Not understanding exactly what he meant, I responded his words with a sincere smile. He seemed to have seen the things I only began to see 9 years later.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Late

He would stay up late every night. When his alarm clock rang, the first thing he would say that he was late. He would rush to his office and he was late.
When his daughter came home, before even greeting her, he would say "you're late". She would wonder why she was always late when there were no hours had been set.
One day his death appeared at his door. He was late again, he thought. He left his life when he still had time to stay.And this time he definitely wasn't late. He was merely late before being late.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Our Universe

Every little particle is our memories and when they come together is our universe. But I know our particles will never come together.

In a different part of this universe, I will keep on writing, sometimes to forget, sometimes to remember and more importantly to keep you alive, if not in my life at my heart.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

She

It had always been her dream. She wanted it so much that she thought if she died afterwards, it just wouldn't matter.

She got her dream realized. Then arrived time to die. She didn't want it. It mattered. There were sunrises and sunsets to be seen, rains to be sunk in, the earth to feel under her feet...

All the ugly people around her now looked beautiful. Only now she had begun to see.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

People

On my left was sitting an old lady with a small face full of wrinkles. She was sunk in deep thoughts. On my right was a young mother with a little baby in her arms, trying to calm him down, failing to understand the baby solely needed love rather than a "hush!". In front of me standing an old man whose shoulders were sagged and seemed no longer willing to carry his worries on them. Across him was another old lady, talking to her reflection on the window, so lonely. On the other side were two friends. One was talking endlessly, the other doing nothing but nodding her head.

I felt I was surrounded by lonely people. Hundreds and hundreds of lonely people crossed my way today. People never seemed to me so lonely, so desperate and so sad as today.

Friday, January 05, 2007

I returned

I returned. I turned back to my body. I turned back to my mind. It had been a long time since I saw my body and mind walking together. My mind was always drifted away to some distant places. My spirits were drooped. At last, I was smiling again. At last I was beginning to exist in my surroundings. I began to see. I turned my face to bleaming sun over my head and saw gray clouds were nearby. A heaviness fell upon my chest.