Good-bye

Your beautiful heart is now given to someone else than I.
Your smile will now brighten someone else's life.
Your words will not touch me anymore. Neither will your hands.
I wish you happiness.
I wish you love.
I wish you all.
Good-bye, my lonely star.

Reading

She entered the train with smiling eyes. The color of her eyes was matching her bag. She took out her notebook and started scribbling some lines. I couldn't read. More than what she was writing, I'd like to read her thoughts. Who was she? What was she thinking now? Was she happy? I was probably asking the questions she has never asked herself. But something weird, something disturbing, something reluctant about her stopped me. I could neither continue trying nor could take my eyes off of her.

I found it amazing to look at my own reflection on the window of the train.

Tomorrow in Sintra?

I didn’t forget my umbrella on the bus, but left it there on purpose. As soon as I got out, I started feeling raindrops on my face. In few minutes I could feel their tickling presence on my chest. Rain cleans my thoughts, purifies my heart and awakens my body. Oh, how long it’s been since I made love in the rain! Tell me my dear, tomorrow in Sintra at our place?

When My Words turn into Stardusts

Years and years I seeked my way to you, but I failed.
At the moments I thought I would see you, everything vanished. Only I stood.
Why did you always have to be so far away?
Now I got my words crashed against you and turned into stardusts.
Back to my destiny and to my melancholy.
Now, shine, shine, lonely little star,
It's your time today to feel alive.

My Words Are Broken-

There were no words to be spoken. With time standing still as you were lying on my lap, there were just you and me, my love, surrounded with obscure feelings connected us once, and led us surrender ourselves secretly to the night.

The city was wearing her most fascinating dress at that night. That dark dream- dress was put so elegantly on the sleeping city that every tiny flickering sparkle of her dark dress was revealing our secret dreams, concealed in delicate rhymes of the sleep, waiting timidly to be glanced at once in a while.

In this drowsy view of the city, we, two strangers, with totally different backgrounds, yet acquainted feelings met under the same sky, which had been falling upon us as the night went by.

Our roles were set on this occult night's stage already, and waiting for the right time for the right move failed in this reality. After all, time did not exist for us at that night: every move was right, signifying its solid accurateness, and every minute referred to a great timing, denying its existence. We were there just to have this moment, together to exist in night's ever lasting memories.

Millions of thoughts were crossing my mind, wandering endlessly back and forth on the imaginary reality of this particular moment. It was the urge to confront reality drew me closer to his lips, without knowing the consequences of reality would convert to fantasy instantly.

Touching of lips, trashing of tongues is the sum how that exquisite moment occurred. I felt connected to him in an unknown way, in a very obscure way that the more passionately I kept on kissing him, the less sure I became of what I was kissing. That particular night, he and me let the cheese moon and dreaming city in on our secret, the rest was meaningless.

Since then I'm lost in this universe, with a restless conscious, tracing my path by pursuing the star dusts, remained from a summer night's dream, with everlasting hope to reach "there'; blinded with sublime darkness, with no time to sustain, will my floating conscious ever find him again?

No Readings Today

In one of those travels alone, I felt the core of my existence in this universe. Small but firm I DO exist and I found it irresistably seductive. While I was travelling through other people's deep yet shallow thoughts, I GOT a great pleasure with existence.

Reading 2

A teenager around 17 years old with a big belly sits in front of me. Before her smiling eyes, I see her big round belly. Obviously her baby is counting down to be born or rather it is the mother who is counting down days to have her baby, I can't decide which. I can see she's having difficult time to breath. To breath for one is already a pain in this world, I just can't imagine what she's been going through! I am startled to see her never-ending smiles. I can't understand. I just can't understand. She's just a child, yet carrying another child in her belly. I give up. Another teenager at her age sends big smiles in distance. That must be the father. I see their smiling eyes, I see how much in love they are. They begin taking their pictures with their mobile phone. Well thought. It's a moment to remember. All my negative thoughts dissapear. Just hope their family game doesn't end like their first sexual experience: A disaster.

Reading 1

An old man at his late 60s. With his hat matching his suit he looked like a true gentleman. While I was studying his details, his hand holding a newspaper caught my attention and surprised me. He was wearing a ring on his little finger. A delicate ring of a woman with a diamond stone. That ring took me to a different reality in his world: To the death of his wife. With my eyes fixed on his ring, I traveled through his life. How difficult it must have been for him to be lonely. Elderly Latin men, in general, can’t survive long without their wives. For who shapes their lives are always women. Now he looked like an orphan to me… A part of him was buried long time ago along with his wife and as an attempt to fulfill that missing part of his life, he decided to wear her ring. A ring he offered years and years ago to his beloved one. He caught my eyes on his ring. Short after he left the train with a final encounter with my eyes.

When A Reader Meets Another Reader

That was the least I expected to happen. But it happened. She sat right across me and started: Reading me! Just as those people, sitting next or across you on the train and read your newspaper irritatingly, I got incredibly pissed off. She started with my eyes, then examined carefully each item of my clothing. Interestingly, she paid a great deal of attention to my "twin" shoes. As the seconds were flying, I became more and more disturbed. I had to find a way stop her reading. And I coughed to take her eyes off of me. She understood and looked at me directly in the eye. I wanted her to read one thing: "Don't!" in my eyes. I cracked a cynical smile at her. I didn't let her get into my world and read through my pages.

This time I won and she left the train with a mission unaccomplished.

Reader

I like to read. I read books, letters, e-mails, newspapers, magazines, billboard advertisements, bus schedules, city maps, street names, graffities, short text messages,nutrition tables on biscuit packages... More than these I read people. I study their faces carefully and try not to miss one detail. Each detail opens up their unknown world to me. I read their worries, joys, dreams, hopes and disappointments. I start breathing with them. Their worries become mine now. So do their happiness. After revealing their universe and traveling through it, I step back silently from their world. As I leave the train, I look at their faces once again with a secret smile to thank. For this beautiful experience I have just had in their world...