Saturday, November 23, 2002

The cold-ice, shievering, horrifying feelings I receive from you, give a deep shock to my drowsy conscious at times...Although these cold feelings hurt me deep down,it awakens my pure existence, my sleeping humanity...and perhaps it is that's why I still love you with such complicated feelings.

Sometimes the words you utter freeze my entire thoughts...The flow of my thoughts first freeze, showing no life signals for a long while...and then the warmness of the blood in my veins starts defreezing the ice blogs slowly...It is in this particular moment, I come to realization of my existence, that I am alive, with the feelings I have for you, with the coldness you give to me at times...It urges the concealed life in me so intensely that I feel much more alive...When the process of defreezing is completed, I understand you much better, and the cruelty, the rigidness and the unjustness of your attitudes do not upset me any longer.

With the warming and freezing feelings you introduce to me at times, with my indifferent, frozen and drowsy conscience, I do and will continue to exist...So blissfully and so hurt, so happy and so broken, I'm determined to track on this way...

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