When...

When everyone wanted to take a picture of happiness, I preferred black-and-white scenes.
When everyone wanted to be like everyone else, I wanted to be myself.

When everyone laughed, I cried.
When everyone cried, I took a deep breath, thought a little and dropped these lines.

A Little Longer?

I still wonder why he didn't stay. Why did he have to leave? The world was here with me...

Couldn't he stay a little longer?

He's left with a bitter good-bye. He's left all the world to me. He's left all myself to me.

Happy Father's Day

When I was a child, I used to hold my father's hand strongly and have walks together. Each time I held his hand, my small hand would disappear in his big, well-shaped hand. His hands were so big that he would never grasp my hand but pass his little finger for me to hold. I was so proud holding his little finger, walking beside him for he was akin to the heroes in the stories I was told. His hands evoked such feelings of protection for they were so big and strong.

When one day he fell weak and sick, I never wanted to let his hands slip though mine. But he never let me. "It hurts", he said. He never told whether it was his hand or inside that hurt. While letting his hands go, it hurt-inside me so deeply.

When I saw him for the last time one year and 3 months ago, his hands were the only things that was left alive from his dead body. They were alive in the sense that they brought me all those beautiful tale-like years of my childhood, our laughters and walks on the coast hand-in-hand. While I was letting his colds hands go forever, it hurt, it really hurt so bad inside. I was so hurt to see my hero lay dead.

Happy Father's Day, Daddy...

Loneliness

She was never lonely when she was with herself. Her loneliness occurred only when she was surrounded with people. The people didn't see her. When they did, they didn't hear her words.

She remained in her world deserted, but not lonely.

Tears

The doctor told the little girl that her tears were insufficient. She didn't know what that meant. Scared, she wanted to cry, but she couldn't and she understood what it meant.

"Don't cry over the world", he said. "It's impossible not to," replied the girl. That evening she was completely sad. Thinking of being unable to cry doubled her pain. Until that moment she never realized how much happiness her tears had brought to her. In the past she used to cry for her sufferings, now her happiness turned into her tears.

She and the Words

Nobody understood her relationship with words. While she was smiling, a part of her was crying. She was happy when she was sad and she was sad when she was happy. The meanings ceased to exist in her life. Most of the times, she changed the meanings of the words, played and sometimes mocked with life through her words. That was the life. That was her life-with pure joy.

What else was there to do?

I...

I looked at you and I saw myself.

I ran away from you and I ran away from me.

I realize that I love you only because I have found myself in you. Until the time I discover a part of me more interesting than I've found in you in someone else, I will love you.

In the Empty Streets of My Mind

I ran, ran and ran in the empty streets of my mind. I didn't run after anything else. I was followed by myself, my fears, my hesitations and my dreams. When I reached to the end of the road, I stopped. All my fears, hesitations, worries and dreams also stopped. I wondered where I was, where I was heading, where I would reach. Nowhere was the answer. I started to walk.

To decide and not to let the time fly.

In a Different Place

In the right place, at a different time, I would like to talk to him through my inner voice. Without hesitation, without fear, without second thoughts, directly from my mind, directly from my heart.

I keep wondering why this isn't the right place and why this isn't the right time. Above all could you be able to tell me what holds me back?

Me and My Mother

When I was a little girl, I'd lean my head against my mom's belly and dream about how my 9-month life was inside it. I'd imagine how I'd been nurtured, what I'd think and finally how I'd come out. Years later I would find it surprising: I still feel like a little girl in search for mother's protection, if not in her belly in her arms and if not in her arms in her words.

I miss you so so much mommy...

He and Your Dream

I ran after a dream with boundless reasons. Thought it was you and I could hold onto him. A short while later, I realized that I was wrong. He was far from being you. He was just perfect,but not you...